The Little White Lace Dress
I can remember as a young girl (I was about ten at the time) and being one of five girls, I would often get hand-me-downs from my two older sisters. One dress in particular I will always remember, it was a beautiful white lace dress with purple ribbon. Back then purple was my favourite colour and I thought this dress was what a real princess would wear.
My eldest sister soon passed it down to my second eldest sister and I was next in line. I was so excited and eagerly looked forward to the day it would be mine. I could just see myself wearing it to Sunday school and how good I would look in it as I twirled around.
One day, while running under the hose with my sisters on a sweltering hot North Queensland summers day, the mangy mutt from next door, decided to play rip the clothes of the neighbours clothes line. I couldn’t believe it as I watched in horror as the flea ridden mutt went straight for my princess dress. Before we got stop it, my dream dress lay in shreds and as I watched Mum chase it around our backyard with a tea towel yelling words I was too young to understand, I stood there and just cried.
That was the first time I can remember that sometimes the things we dream about in life and look forward to, don’t always happen.
I will also remember as a young girl, I dreamed of getting married, having kids, living in a lovely home with a white picket fence and a dog running in the yard (not one that takes clothes off the line though). I got my first marriage proposal at four years of age. He soon called it off though because, as he explained to my Mum, “I can’t marry Rhonda because she can’t read the bible yet.” I was four!
I ended up getting married in my mid 30’s, was blessed with two amazing boys, had a lovely home with an energetic Labrador running around the yard. I didn’t have the white picket fence, but more importantly, I did not have the loving, caring husband I had dreamed about all those years ago. He ended up being a malignant narcissist who tried to suck the life out of me and tear me apart mentally, emotionally and financially.
Letting go of a dream we have had from a young age at times can be difficult. I questioned myself continually. What had I done wrong? How can I fix it? It took me years to realise it wasn’t me with the problem and the harder I tried, the more demanding and abusive he got. Sometimes, like my white lace dress, some things can’t be fixed. The best thing I could do was to turn my back, walk away with my boys and create a new dream and that is exactly what I have done.
Dreams do come true and yes, I have bought myself a little white lace dress.